Friday, July 4, 2008

Nothing at all about the 4th of July

Color me excited. I just found a two-day-old croissant in the micro-wave. I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but it is like finding money in the pocket of pants you haven't worn in years. (Assuming we're not talking about almost worthless dollars.) Plus, there is no one here to catch me eat it. Gagné.

Does anyone remember me being a big breakfast person? Coffee, yes. Eggs, bacon, etc, no-thank-you. However, there is this weakness for croissants, and I am quite capable of scarfing down a couple or more even before being fully awake. Which points out that I can partially clothe myself, go down three flights of stairs, cross the street, buy some undisclosed number of croissants, and make my way back without fully waking. I think that is pretty impressive.

But those croissants are one, relatively expensive when you add up a month's worth, and two, absolutely fat enabling long before the end of the month. So how can I in good conscience look at sweet cherubic faces, however deceptive, and deny them weekend pony rides after I have squandered the money on waistline busting bakery products.

Tough call, but I've been trying to limit my croissant intake. Ok, we didn't really have to trade pony rides for my pastry addiction. And admittedly, the best incentive is that I really hate shopping for pants. Outside of the undesirable silhouette created by a large gut, I have no butt. Which makes shopping for pants even less fun than normal since nothing fits. My legs attach directly to my back. Do not pass BUTT, do not collect $200. End of game. And therefore I am still wearing pants that looked well forward to the coming Second Millineum. Hence, I need to fit into my pants.

This is deteriorating from pointless to less than pointless.

At least I posted.

I am posting, therefore... I exist. Take that, Descartes.

The photo of René Descartes
was removed because
it never existed.

He never posted, therefore, he didn't exist.

So we may pose the question:

If René Descartes existed today,
would he have a blog?

1 comment:

Doc said...

Ahh you suffer from noassatall disease?

And pointless to more pointless is good, really.